“A healthy relationship is two whole people with separate lives coming together to share their lives. Not to blend into one life. That is called codependency. Meshment. And it stunts growth.” The Angry Therapist
It’s been an interesting month as our Single On Purpose group engaged in some tough topics of conversation! I always enjoy a challenging discussion- however, I have had to recognize that I have started to hit a wall in various areas of my life.
To be fair, I am a textbook description of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after the house fire that has left my family homeless for the last nine weeks. I made my sixth move (in eight weeks) and that found me at the height of anxiety (or lowest point) of my current existence as I spent two days in bed, the weight on my chest almost unbearable. Not a lot has changed in the last month since my last writing before I took a month off- I am just as sleep deprived, stressed out, overly stimulated, under fed, excessively beveraged as I was before.
I am just as deeply (if not more) in love with a man who doesn’t want me in his life.
I am just as angry and hurt by the dismissal of my friendship.
I am just as fearful of loss and rejection, having learned just how fragile stability is.
I am just as lonely and alone as I have ever been.
All that said, I am crawling through each day determined to keep my chin up.
Determined to love unconditionally.
Determined to keep moving towards my dreams.
Determined to heal the broken parts of myself that continue to reveal themselves.
Determined to protect and fight for my loved ones no matter the cost.
Determined to be ready to share my life with someone!
I am choosing intentionality.
I won’t go chasing after someone who doesn’t want me. I choose my self worth.
I won’t give up on my life goals. I choose to step into new opportunities.
I won’t beat myself up. I choose to extend myself grace.
As I close out my Single On Purpose discussion group, I am reminded that the best gift we can give our future relationships is being intentional in our personal growth!
Self-awareness plays a crucial role in the development of healthy relationships. By acknowledging and identifying our personal issues, we take a significant step towards self-improvement and creating meaningful connections with others. Self-awareness allows us to recognize patterns, behaviors, and emotions that may hinder our ability to form strong and fulfilling relationships. When we are intentional about working on our issues, we open doors for growth, change and connection.
It is essential to take an honest inventory of ourselves, examining past experiences and their impact on our present relationships. By doing so, we can understand how these issues may be affecting our interactions with others. Identifying personal issues empowers us to address them head-on. Whether it be unresolved traumas, communication problems, or trust issues, being aware allows us to seek the necessary support or professional help required for healing and growth.
Unresolved issues can significantly impact the health and longevity of any relationship. When left unaddressed, these issues have a way of festering and growing, ultimately creating a toxic environment. They can manifest in various forms, such as unresolved conflicts, unhealed traumas, or personal insecurities. These unresolved matters tend to resurface repeatedly, leading to communication breakdowns, emotional distance, feelings of resentment, and a lack of trust. Additionally, unresolved issues can hinder effective communication as individuals may struggle to express their needs or fears due to their own unresolved emotions. Recognizing the impact that unresolved issues have on relationships is essential for personal growth and fostering healthy connections.
Building and maintaining healthy relationships requires intentional effort and continuous personal growth. By acknowledging and working on our own issues, we can create a solid foundation for meaningful connections with others. Intentional growth begins with self-reflection, where we examine our past experiences and patterns that may be contributing to relationship challenges. This introspection allows us to identify areas of improvement and take proactive steps towards personal development.
Effective communication is another essential aspect of cultivating healthy relationships. Openly expressing our thoughts, feelings, and needs fosters understanding and builds trust. It also enables us to address conflicts in a constructive manner, promoting resolution rather than escalation. Committing to ongoing self-improvement helps us become more self-aware, empathetic, and emotionally available partners. It allows us to approach relationships with a genuine desire for growth while honoring the well-being of both ourselves and our loved ones.
Be intentional in your personal growth, in your relationships, in your communication, in your life!
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See you all next week!
Joni Woods, ACC
Relationship and Communication Coach
“Creating the future You want!”