How Are You?


HOW ARE YOU?  Originally Published 11/22/2022 

And Do You Mean It?

Happiest of Thanksgiving to all the members of our wonderful community. I’d like to give a special shout-out to the newest members of our happy little Tribe of Up! Invariably, this is the time of year people will be wishing other people “Happy (fill in the blank).” Cursory conversations will go something like this:

“Hey Steve! Happy holidays!”

“Happy holidays to you as well. How are you?”

The next part of this conversation will depend upon one very simple thing. It isn’t how the person responds to my question of how they are. It will depend on how I asked the question of how they are. In short, do they believe that I really want to know? Do they believe me?

Deepest apologies to anyone out there who may have coined this phrase before I did, but don’t we all base our ‘likability’ of someone on their Believability Quotient? The more believable someone is, the more we seem to like them. I have encountered many wonderful servers at the restaurants and pubs around our wonderful corner of the world. For my money, what makes me like them (and by proxy the establishment where they work) is their believability. Do they say good evening and mean it? Are they genuine when they ask how you are doing? I’m sure you all are getting where I’m going with this. People who seem to be genuine in their interest in you, no matter how brief, make us feel better. If someone’s BQ is high, they are fabulous. If it is low, well then not so much.

As we enter this holiday season, the question I would like to challenge all of my fellow tribesmen and women with is this…How high is your Believability Quotient? Do people believe you when you say good morning to them? Do they seem drawn to your responses? If not, the holidays are a great time to work on bringing your BQ up a notch or two. One way to do this is slow down. Think about your responses. How many of us have conversations that start like this?

“Hey Steve, how are you?”


To me, the word fine stands for “Further Investing No Effort.” We are truly blessed to live in this wonderful little corner of the world we call home. Surely, we can be better than fine. Fine is easy. Let’s put in a few more ounces of effort and be great, or wonderful, or outstanding! Our Tribe of Up will continue to grow and expand when we graduate from fine. And please, pretty please with sugar on it, mean it and increase your BQ!

Warmest and happiest of Thanksgiving to you all!

Steve Gwisdalla is the owner, manager, customer service liaison, chief cook and bottle washer and administrative intern of Better Place Consulting in Dexter. If you have a great “Up” idea, reach out to him at

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