It's None of Your Business!


It’s None of Your Business!

I watch, listen, observe, and ask (from a much Higher Power than myself) seeking inspiration every single day. I stumbled across an interview with a former Navy Seal this week. This interview was very biographical in nature and a came away very, very impressed. Not because of all the testosterone-laden war stories (and there were many). What impressed me the most was how he is handling his life after service. Many people think this gentleman is a hero. Some probably loathe him. He said something about the people casting shade about him to the interviewer that struck me right between the eyes. I immediately wrote in my inspiration journal and vowed to come back and write something about it. I lasted all of 1 hour and here I am, writing right now. When asked about the naysayers and negative people he has encountered, he said this:

“What someone thinks about you is none of your business. Quit wasting your energy thinking about their negative energy.”

What someone thinks about you is none of your business. Simple? You bet. Did he originate this? I have no idea. But I borrowed it from him. I didn’t think Chuck Colby would like the entire quote as an article title, so it was shortened. What an amazingly simple and powerful idea.

How many of us go around worrying about what others think of us? Even if we weren’t entirely honest with ourselves, I bet it happens more than we even realize. While it is true that opinions are like…um…noses, (everybody has one) how we react, deal, and internalize those noses…er…I mean opinions is entirely up to us. This may be one of the few times when trying to walk the talk the phrase ‘ignorance is bliss’ is warranted. Not only should we ignore them, but it also isn’t even worth one iota’s worth of energy to think about.

I am fully aware that this is easier said than done. But if we are honest with ourselves, how often do we go seeking approval or positive reaffirmation on social media and then get upset when it isn’t there in the amount or volume we were hoping for? Tune out, shut it off, and ignore it. What people say about today can be easy to shut out. Shutting out those voices in our head that remind us of past failings or past negative results is much, much harder.

Awhile back on the Tribe of Up Facebook page, I wrote an article about a book called “Taming Your Gremlin” by Rick Carson. It’s an easy read and nearly everyone I have ever done individual coaching with has been given a copy of this book. In short, it talks about, introduces us to, identifies and ultimately teaches us to ignore that voice or those voices in your head that remind us of all we haven’t accomplished, failed at, or never tried. It loves the past and really loves when we sit and think about things to the point of inactivity. So, to take our Navy Seal’s quote and amend it just so slightly,

What someone thinks about you is none of your business. What older versions of yourself think about your current self is none of your concern. Quit wasting your energy thinking about all the negatives.

In a 600–700-word column, it’s hard to go into great details about how to accomplish this. Just know that there are many people out there who have. Ask around. Don’t be shy or embarrassed. To quote my late grandmother who passed away two years ago at the age of 95, “There are no stupid questions, Steve. There are only stupid people too afraid to ask questions.” If you don’t know how to flush other people’s negative, ask around. If you are having trouble letting go of past failures, ask around. Email me. I have some effective gremlin wrestling moves that have worked wonders for this author. If you see someone you care about and think they are wrestling with gremlins, ask them some questions. Remember, grandmas are never wrong!

If we are truly going to consider ourselves belonging to many different tribes, then isn’t it time to offer help to those in our tribe that may be suffering or agonizing in silence? I’m offering my hand of support to each of you. Quit wasting your precious energy thinking about other’s negative energy. I can think of few other ways to advocate for more joy than helping others find joy in quieting the negative in their lives.

Steve is a Dexter resident, small business owner, Success Coach, and Chief Gremlin Wrangler at BetterPlace Consulting. Reach out to him at
if you need help.

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