Don't Let Your Brain Hear Your Mouth Say That!


Don’t Let Your Brain Hear Your Mouth Say That!

Sometimes, phrases just pop into my head. I’m not sure if this was a long-lost quote I heard in some obscure 80’s movie, but I say this one all the time. Often times, our inner voice loves to remind us of failures, poor attempts, and otherwise negative outcomes to situations whenever possible. If you are like me that voice talks a lot. Over the years, I have managed to add a few tools to the old toolbox in an attempt to quiet him down, but he loves trying to outsmart me at every turn.

Question time. Have you ever…

Heard yourself say something and thought, ‘Dude, that was a bit harsh. And it was about me!’

Said something out loud and wondered, ‘Was that my inner voice our my outer one. Please let it be my inner one.’

Had an argument with yourself…and lost?

Thought of so much negative stuff, clouds of depression showed up on an otherwise fine day?

I could go on and on. As a Success Coach, the number one thing I see in working with people is this. We are our own worst enemy. Let me say that again.

We are our own worst enemy.

How can this be? How is it my conscious is so negative? That voice, dear friends, isn’t your conscious. It is all of your past and present shortcomings showing up to rob you of your future. Trying something new? Remember that one time? Starting a business? Really? Remember when you tried…? Ask for a raise? You don’t have the assertiveness for that. And on and on it goes. So how do we ever stop letting our brain hear what our mouth says? I have found two really simple ways to gain the upper hand.

First, accept you will never shut that voice up. I know what you’re going to say. Steve, but how can we…Hold on my friends. We need to replace the on/off switch to that voice with a dimmer switch. We can’t shut him/her up, but we can lower the volume. We can do that by surrounding ourselves with positive people. We can do that by reading something upbeat, funny, or educational. We can turn off the negative news and find an uplifting podcast. We can start deprogramming all of the negative that blasts us everyday and find a few oases of up.

Second, ask for help. It may sound tough or defeatist to hear, but one of the most powerful phrases in our language is, “Can you help me?” Human beings genuinely want to help other humans whenever possible. Talk it out. I bet you will be surprised when the person you ask for help tells you they have some of the same struggles.

Don’t let your brain hear your mouth say that. Overly simple? You bet. Powerful? It certainly can be if given the opportunity. I have tried to offer something positive here in this little column every week. If we are having a hard time finding an oasis of up, create one. That’s what this is. Every tribe needs an oasis or two to help them recharge, rejuvenate and refresh. Let’s be an oasis for each other. If you see someone struggling, ask if they are ok. Listen to understand. We don’t need to solve the problem. Sometimes, we just need to be still and listen. Be an oasis.

…And a Tribe of Up podcast is coming soon!

Steve Gwisdalla is a Dexter resident and Owner, Chief Oasis Finder, Certified Happy Dude, and Inner Voice Dimmer Switch Installer at BetterPlace Consulting. Reach out at

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