The Road to Rebuilding

Let me paint you a picture. Concentrate on the words.

There you stand, a bright flame in hand, looking at a bridge made of wood slats. Your feet standing at the very edge of the wood slats, looking left and right, watching the river scream by. Not meandering, clear and peaceful, but screaming, waters rushing, threatening to overtake the bridge, to find its way up the banks, to drown you. Rather than walk away until the river calms down, you lower that flame and watch that bridge burn……permanently separating you from someone you love and care about.

I got to head into Detroit this past week and listen to 35 amazing Speakers at TedX Detroit! Seeing as it is a personal goal to eventually be on that stage talking about communication and relationships, it felt so surreal being there!

I have a ton of takeaways from the event that I will be sharing (and have already incorporated into my coaching sessions) but a personal favorite was DeNisha Beasley, though her presentation was about child trafficking and her CR3 Restorative Services, the poignant part of her presentation what when she brought her mother onto the stage and apologized for her part in their long time conflict and thanked her for all she had done for her. It was deeply touching and for me, deeply personal, in that I understand the importance of rebuilding a broken bridge.

Doing the work to rebuild a bridge that you torched out of anger or fear is the best work you can do for your soul! There is so much to be said about reconciliation and the depth of intimacy it can provide, when done right! It has to be more than big gestures, displays or confessions of love; because not of that will land when trust has been broken. You - as the flamethrower - HAVE to rebuild trust. You have to acknowledge the damage you caused and accept that the road to rebuilding will take A LOT of work on your part.

Don’t give up on rebuilding that bridge, no matter how long it takes or how much of it you do on your own. The goal should never be validation for rebuilding a bridge YOU burnt down in the first place, it should always be about reestablishing a connection with someone you love and care about!

I’m here to help and humble enough to say I have had to rebuild a bridge or two in my life time - it’s tough work but in the end worth every effort!

Be well my friends! Reach out if I can help!

And ladies, mark your calendar for October 18th! I am speaking a workshop on Effective and Non-Violent Communication at the WXW Forum ‘23 - registration is open and you don’t want to miss it!

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Sincerely, your coach!

Joni Woods

Relationship and Communication Coach

Journey Coaching

734-436-6200

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