Be Pro, Not Anti

Be Pro, Not Anti

By Steve Gwisdalla

I am against Trump. I am against Kamela. I am against vaccines. I am against anyone against vaccines. I refuse to watch traditional news. I am against anyone who doesn’t watch the news and is therefore ignorant. I am a dog person. I am a cat person. I cannot people who…

My friends, it seems “they” are winning. “They” are the people who want to pit us against each other. Increasingly, we identify by what we are against. If you are not one of ‘us’ then you are one of ‘them.’ I do not know about you, but I for one, am sick of all of it.

The mission statement of the Tribe of Up is simple. Advocate for more joy. According to Thesaurus.com, the opposite of advocate is opponent. Therefore, anyone who is not an advocate for more joy is an opponent of it. Luckily, here in this tribe, we do not focus on what we are anti. We don’t look at the world as an anti-republican or anti-democrat. We don’t see people for what they aren’t. We see them for what they are and more importantly, what they are trying to be. Instead of identifying by what you are against, let me ask you this question.

What do you love? What or who are the people and things you genuinely love, admire, respect, and enjoy spending your time being with or around? Do you identify as that? I do.

I love being a sport dad. I love watching young people play sports. I love watching them give everything they have in competition. I love the high fives and hugs when they win. But do you know what? I almost love the hugs and high fives given in support when they lose more.

I love being a pet owner. I love watching, just sitting down and watching my puppy and my cats exist.

I love being my wife’s husband. I am in awe of her every single day. She makes me try to be the best me I can be.

I love my friends. I love people who make me laugh, think, act, and support for no other reason than they deem me worthy of all those things and more.

I love my community. Sure, it isn’t without its warts. But even the rainy days make us appreciate the sunny days more.

I love my son’s teachers. They care. They really do. Passion, like apathy can be taught and we are blessed to be in a community where the teachers teach with passion.

I love being my son’s father. Seeing his choices made in friendships and how he conducts himself when he doesn’t always know we are watching makes me prouder than I can ever express.

I love my parents, the people who molded me.

There is so much more I love, but I am word limited in these articles. But I try every single day to identify who I am by what I love. By what I am for, not what I am against, and I am happier because of it. When I find myself having an anti-day, I do a couple of things to snap out of it. First, I pray. I pray hard. In those prayers I thank God for all the good things in my life and I say them out loud. Usually that does the trick. If praying is not your thing, just come up with a list of what is good in your life and speak it. Do you have a roof over your head? Food in your tummy? People who love you? Say it. I cannot think of a worse thing to do when having a bad day than to list all of things you are against. When things are at their worst, we need the things we love and who love us the most to surround us and our thoughts.

What do you love?

The other day while driving home, I came over a hill and there was a dozen or so deer standing in the middle of the road. I wasn’t going fast, but my life passed before my eyes as I jammed on my brakes and looked in my mirrors to make sure no one else was around. Thankfully, I stopped in time. As the deer glared back at me for interrupting their deer meeting, my mind raced to all the things I could think of in that ‘life passed before my eyes’ moment. All of them were people, memories, and things I love. Not a single anti came up. Yet so many of us waste countless amounts of energy each day being against something or someone. Strange, eh?

Advocate for more joy, my friends. Write that list. Say it out loud. Let  your brain hear your mouth advocating for that which you love. You will not be disappointed.

Steve is the Owner, Vice President of Joy Advocation, Director of Smiles and Grateful Leader at Better Place Consulting, a life, success, and small business consulting and public speaking organization. Reach out to him at steve@betterplacemgmt.com.