Our Responsibility in Rejection

Everyone handles rejection differently, but we all experience it on a fairly regular basis. Rejection can happen in our personal relationships, they can happen in our work relationships, they can happen through the rejection of ideas, wants or needs. Rejection can happen on a fairly regular basis. Rejection is hard in that there are usually so many questions left unanswered and so there becomes a fine line between maintaining self love and the relationships where the rejection occurs.

Example: A client was in the midst of changing high profile jobs. As with most transitions, you are able to bring some of your staff with you. This client tried bringing two members of their staff with them, however, after a few days of silence, they chose not to make that transition. The client was being rejected. In their hurt, they said “I don’t want them anyway!”

Oh my. And we wonder why there is such a breakdown in friendships and communication!

Not only is that response childish in nature, those friendships were ruined in the midst of rejection. With some simple communication, intentionally creating a safe space to answer questions that help with healing and the preservation of self love, the sting of rejection may not have stung so much; and maybe those friendships could have been saved!

I believe that if you are going to reject someone (in any sort of rejection personally or professionally) you have a responsibility to do so in a healthy way that doesn’t break down communication or ruin relationships. I think it is careless to just reject a person without consideration of the Golden Rule - how would you like to be treated?

Example: I went on a few dates with someone who was just not my type. We were in very different stages of life and I knew that it was just not going to work out. However, in our conversations, I knew that some of where he holds his value is in what he can offer a potential partner. As we discussed why a romantic relationship wouldn’t work out, I wanted to validate what he holds as valuable in a partnership so that he wouldn’t suffer from any mind games or self-loathing and we could remain friends. To this day, we are still friends. We catch up whenever he comes into work, and he has been doing what he can to help me find a home, the friendship has remained intact.

Rejection (whether you are the rejector or rejectee) can be another way to build healthy communication skills, to take care of the people in your life while you set boundaries; if done with intentionality and immense care.

Do I think this rejection could have been handled better? 100%. Do I think he could STILL step up and make this rejection easier on me? Definitely.

An important step of emotional intelligence is the ability to create and maintain healthy relationships! These are important life skills. Skills that we don’t focus on, and most certainly don’t teach anymore. When we get rejected we lash out in return and we are like the childish client saying “I don’t want them anyways” resulting in relationships/friendships that are now ruined.

It doesn’t have to be that way! I love that I have maintained friendships with almost all of my exes! There are healthy boundaries, no lines being crossed, we cheer each other on and have grown in the friendship; there are no depths of pain and hurt like what I am currently experiencing in my own personal life.

So if you need help working through rejection or need to make a change in a relationship and are unsure how to do it - let me help you! It’s not easy, but your relationships with Thank You!!

Joni Woods, ACC

Relationship and Communication Coach

Journey Coaching

734-436-6200

Journeylifecoaching.life

Joniwoods.com

“Creating the future You want!”