Father's Day

This day of celebration is a hard day for me.

And I know it is a hard day for many!

In fact, not a month ago I received an “opt out” email from a major company who said - ‘we know Father’s Day can be hard for our customers - if you would like to opt out of our email blasts, please click here’. I opted out.

Father’s Day, and Mother’s Day, are hard days for me because I have lost both of my parents. Suddenly and without the chance to say goodbye in person. I long for a last conversation, a last hug, a reminder that the love between us was authentic and true.

My family and I had overcome decades of wrong choices, manipulation, trauma and borderline abuse so that we could lean into unconditional love and devotion…..that seemed to only last moments in comparison. I feel robbed.

So I worry about my children.

Having already lost their father. Are they feeling robbed? Do these celebrations remind them of what they lost? Or can we transform these celebrations into what they as individuals can gain in themselves?

Whenever we are back in Illinois, the kids and I always make a trip to see their dad and it is not lost on me that this year we happen to be back in Illinois for Father’s day. This particular trip feels a bit more hard because of all that we have had to endure the last few weeks. Essentially being homeless, I never want my children to feel unsafe - but always feel gratitude for what we do have - each other.

While we send our respects and their love to their father on Father’s Day, I am acutely aware that I will never be a “Father” - I will always be the best parent I can be for my beautiful children. It includes failing and hopefully succeeding in the darkest of times. Yet they will always miss their dad, and that is OK!

There are some roles a single parent can never truly fulfill - and should not aspire to. Instead let’s foster gratitude for the experiences and love that come out of the roles that are fulfilled in our lives!!!

So to all the Fathers giving it their best effort - a Happy Father’s Day!

To all the single parents - giving it their best effort on these difficult role defining days - a HAPPY day to you!

And to all of those who are missing the support of their parents - I feel you! I wish I could hug each and everyone of you! Their strength has made us stronger!

Joni