Happiness. One Day I Will…

I read something the other day that has stuck with me. It talked about happiness. Paraphrasing, it read something like this; If you are looking for that person or thing to make you happy, stop. Find happiness within. My version is a little more to the point, but you get the idea. As a society, we are always looking for that thing (fill in the blank here…A person, a thing, an experience, a substance) that will bring us the true happiness we are really craving. When I meet that special someone, I will find happiness. When I finally get to take that trip, I will find happiness. Tonight, after work when I go out with my friends for happy hour, I will find happiness. One day, one day, one day.

Why do we need something other than ourselves when it comes to finding happiness? We actively seek it. On my social media pages, I know several people who are constantly on the lookout for a “Mr. or Ms. Right.” Then they will be happy. As a child, I remember many an hour spent in the back seat of a Datsun travelling to a vacation destination and it seemed like no fun was allowed until we got there. I am sure we all know someone who has gone through recovery, after spending a part of their life looking to find happiness in the escape of drugs or alcohol. Happiness is elusive. We can often see the shadow of it, but it escapes our vision when we turn to look at it. Seemingly just missing it, time after time can lead to sad, depressive thinking. Thinking we are not worthy of it. The world hates us. We do not deserve it. Karma is exacting its due.

My friends, you already know what I am going to say next, but it is going to be said anyway. Happiness lies within us. It has been a long and exhausting journey, and it is far from over, but every day, I find me liking myself a little more. I am genuinely happy with my own company. Have you ever thought of something and made yourself laugh? Have you ever thought, where did that come from? That is how I know I am on the right path for finding inner happiness. I make myself giggle all the time. I never knew I was so funny. How and where did I come from to get to this place on the road of life? One simple word my friends.

Perspective.

The other day I heard an old song on the radio again, but for the first time. Does that make sense? I really listened to it. It is a song by Kenny Rogers, called The Greatest. It is about a little boy, his baseball bat and ball. He says, “I am the greatest player of them all” and throws the ball up and tries to hit it. Strike one. Swing and miss. He does this three times, missing each time and essentially striking himself out. Instead of getting sad or depressed, these are the last two lines of the song.

“He says I am the greatest, that is understood.

But even I didn’t know, I could pitch that good.”

Life is perspective, my friends. You do not need someone else to make you happy. You do not need substances or experiences. You need good company from the person in your mirror. Like yourself. Cut yourself a little slack for the swings and misses. Forgive yourself and move on.

Forgive yourself and move on.

There have been many articles about happy things here in the Tribe of Up. Sometimes, we need a few moments of honesty in the hopes of gaining some clarity. I never accept criticism from anyone I would not go to for advice, and that begins with that little voice in my head. My Gremlin. I have talked about it before, but that little jerk has a limitless memory. I forgive him. I forgive myself. I cannot always hit the ball when I throw it up and swing. I miss far more than I hit. It isn’t because I am a terrible person, unworthy of happiness. It isn’t because my life’s ledger is in the red and Karma is having its way with me. It isn’t because I haven’t found it in others. It is because I am a hell of a pitcher. I smile every time I miss that proverbial ball. A struggle here, a brief pity party for myself there. I pick up the ball, shoulder the bat and take another swing. I like myself. A lot. I could not always say that if I am being completely honest with you. My younger self made a lot of mistakes and wasted a lot of time in search of that external happiness. By changing my perspective and realizing I had certain weaknesses that were just hiding hidden strengths, I have found an overabundance of happiness both within and without of my own head. Great family, great friends, great experiences all because I started smiling at the person in the mirror and meaning it. I see the gray creeping in. I see more wrinkles. A little more sagging than last year. I am certain I will throw that ball up and swing and miss many more times in my remaining years. But do you know what? I sure am a hell of a great pitcher!

Steve is a Dexter resident and the Owner, Chief Pitching Consultant, Vice President of Mirror Evaluations and Head Gremlin Squasher at Better Place Consulting, a success and career coaching firm. Reach out to him at steve@betterplacemgmt.com.