Profit From Pain

By Steve Gwisdalla

My friends, in The Tribe of Up, we strive to advocate for more joy in both us and others. We seek to find beauty, love, and kindness in all things. Today is a tough one, but we are strong enough to handle it.

Think of the worst thing that has happened to you in the past year. The absolute, honest to goodness no fooling most terrible thing. If you are like me, the first reaction to this is to avoid it. Leave it lay where it is. Why bring that terrible pain back into the forefront of our minds? Trust me. By offering each of you what I have learned over the years, I have slowly yet tangibly learned to make friends with my worst moments. Those of you who are suffering and struggling, it is my sincerest hope this exercise can offer you a bit of peace, solace and if we are lucky, a new positive perspective on a terrible chapter in our life’s book.

Think of the worst thing that has happened to you this past year. While thinking about it, let me ask you a series of questions. First. How did it affect you specifically? Was it a death? Job loss? Divorce? Be specific. How specifically did it affect you? How many of your tribes were affected? Family tribe? Work tribe? Community tribe? I do apologize that an article with the subtitle called The Tribe of Up is talking about such downer stuff.

Stay with me. Here it comes. After the initial shock of the event passed, what did you learn? How did that lesson come about? A brief example. I wrote about my worst moment a few weeks ago with the loss of what I call an ‘inner-circle friend,’ I miss him every single day. I say his name aloud, talk to him and tears still come. As time has passed, I have learned something from the terrible. I have never treasured the day I am in more than I do now. I live. I live my days with an energy that I didn’t know I had. I value those close to me. I tell them I value them. I observe and appreciate. It took something unimaginably bad to find a new level of beauty in life. So, what has the terrible taught you?

My friends find profit from the pain that life sometimes brings. It won’t happen during or immediately after it occurs. But time thickens the sauce (grandma quote) and allows us to see things from other angles. I cannot honestly say that I look forward to challenging times. But having this perspective helps me fear it less. Give it a shot. There can be unseen benefits. Finding shreds of up when life brings you down isn’t easy. But it sure is liberating and beautiful when you find them and apply them. It will get better. You can do it!

Steve is a Dexter Resident and the Owner, Chief Up Officer and Vice President of Happiness at Better Place Consulting, a personal and professional coaching organization. Reach out at [email protected].