The Golden Bridge

A Tribe of Up Article

By Steve Gwisdalla

Published February 6, 2025

In Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, there is a passage that says, “Build your opponents a golden bridge to retreat across.”

I know what you are thinking. Strange way to start a Tribe of Up article, eh Steve? Stay with me. Banging around my book cabinet the other day, I came across my copy of this amazing book and started flipping through it. Yes, The Art of War is a strategy book about conflict and how to win those conflicts. Yes, it talks about how to defeat enemies. But what about the enemies that lie within? We will get back to that.

The golden bridge concept has been used in countless ways throughout history. Hannibal used this tactic against the Romans. The US military has used this countless times. The concept is simple enough. If you allow an enemy a way out of the conflict, they can be more easily controlled and will not fight like a cornered tiger. It lowers your enemy’s desperation.

Now, back to you and me. I have written many times about our gremlins. Those voices in our head who remind us about all our failures. They love to bring up all the ‘to don’ts.’ Those are the to dos we did not do on our list. Gremlins are tricky, but they are also very dumb. At least mine is. My gremlin never offers me a golden bridge. It tries to completely envelop me so it can scream about all my failures, procrastinations, and to don’ts. As I retreated further and further, I finally came to a cliff. I had nowhere to go. Being desperate, I came out of the corner fighting. It was a long and brutal war, but in the end, I came out victorious. How may you ask? Several things helped me overcome my gremlin.

First, I stopped everything I was doing to breathe. I will find, borrow, or steal just a couple minutes each day for some deep breathing exercises. I do not have any specific way I do it. I just focus all my thoughts on taking several slow deep breaths. This seems to help eliminate  the brain fog, sends a good of amount of oxygen into my blood and relaxes me.

Second, I read. I read every day. Some days it is ten minutes. Some days it is an hour. I find something useful to read every day. It is true what they say about ‘garbage in, garbage out.’ Find something that makes you think, smile, and think some more.

Third, I take time for just me. Sometimes it is five minutes before I close my eyes to sleep because that is the only time I have during the day. Take time for yourself. One of the greatest and easiest books I have ever read is called, “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George S. Clason. It is a financial self-help book in the form of a story about a Babylonian chariot maker. This chariot maker has some simple axioms he follows to build wealth. His first rule? Pay yourself first. Even if it is only a few coins, always pay yourself first. I do this with time as well, dear friends. We are blessed with twenty-four hours in a day and make sure to pay myself some of this time each and every day.

Fourth. I forgive myself. Spot yourself the mistakes and learn to ride out the tough times. Accept you do not know everything. I find myself saying this to myself on a daily basis. I say it aloud, so my brain can hear my mouth say it. It only gets weird when someone hears me. But that is ok.

Fifth. I pray. I pray hard and I pray often.

Sixth. I celebrate victories. If I cannot find any in myself, I find them in others. When my son told me he got a 98% on his Advanced Geometry final, it nearly brought me to tears. We talked, fist bumped, hugged, and celebrated the heck out of that. Look outward. Beauty is everywhere.

Each one of those things, and I am sure there are many, many more you can produce, are golden bridges that can be built by you for yourself. Allow yourself an out. Allow yourself a path to retreat and live to fight on for another day. I know I may not be the smartest guy in the room, but I certainly know that little gremlin jerk is not smarter than me.

Learn to build your own golden bridges for yourselves, dear friends. Don’t let the world, your thoughts, and you’re to don’ts completely encircle you. You are not alone. You can do it. You. Can. Do. It.

Steve is a Dexter resident and the Owner, Chief Gremlin Slayer, Vice President of Golden Bridge Building and Life Coach at Better Place Consulting. Reach out to him at steve@betterplacemgmt.com